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The Amateurs (Paperback)
  • The Amateurs (Paperback)
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The Amateurs (Paperback)

(author)
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
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£8.99
Paperback 384 Pages / Published: 05/06/2014
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Synopsis Author
GARY is a sweet and decent man. Only two things would improve his life - having children with his gorgeous wife Pauline, and a lower golf handicap. Both are unlikely. PAULINE is wondering how she ended up living in an ugly little house, driving a second-hand car and making a living dressing up as Tinkerbell. She's planning to leave Gary for a self-made carpet millionaire. FINDLAY, the Carpet King of Scotland, wants to trade in his obese wife for a younger model. But if he goes for a divorce she'll take him to the cleaners. If only there was some way she could be made to disappear... LEE, Gary's luckless brother, has botched one too many drug deals. Local crime overlord Ranta Campbell gives him one more job - one last chance to get it right. Lee's done some bad things - but murder? When Gary gets smashed on the head by a golf ball and miraculously develops an absolutely perfect swing, everyone finds their fates rest on the final day of the Open Championship...

Publisher: Cornerstone
ISBN: 9780099592129
Number of pages: 384
Weight: 266 g
Dimensions: 198 x 129 x 24 mm

MEDIA REVIEWS
"Believe it or not, this novel makes golf look interesting. Trust me. This is a writer who could wring laughs out of pretty well anything... Hilarious" * The Times *
"Screamingly funny...beneath the rough surface of effing and blinding lies a surprisingly sweet story of family, friendship and romance....uproarious entertainment...Unlike the amateurs in his plot, Niven's prose is executed with the comic timing of a pro. He gets the golf right, and just about everything else too" * Scotsman *
"A novel about golf that is not only hilarious, but gripping, sexy, violent and outrageous...Niven combines his increasingly bizarre plots, and some shocking behaviour, with considerable skill and, of course, large helpings of humour" * Daily Mirror *
"I laughed out loud more times than I can remember. Niven's ear for dialogue, particularly the foulmouthed, is fantastic. Who would have thought that "Golf meets Gangsters in Ayrshire" would work? But it does - in spades"
"A story so completely filmic you will yell 'it's Gregory's Girl meets Local Hero with weapons-grade swearing!' while still sat in your armchair. Brilliantly funny too" * Word *

John Niven’s 2008 debut Kill Your Friends immediately pushed him to the front rank of British satirical novelists, a vitriolic tale drawing on his vast experiences of working for the UK music industry. Since, Niven has carved a darkly humorous, vitriolic niche with several further books, including his 2018 sequel to his debut entitled Kill ‘Em All.

Visit the John Niven author page

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“The Amateurs”

A highly entertaining and funny book, that reminded me a lot of Christopher Brookmyre and a little of Irvine Welsh. Don't worry if you don't like (or even understand) golf, as the plot has so many diverse... More

Paperback edition
Helpful? Upvote 36

“Golfing tips this is not”

The Amateurs is a comic novel about a golfing everyman who finds himself in some extraordinary circumstances. Pretty standard fare then? Well kind of but John Niven's dark sense of humour lends to say the least,... More

Paperback edition
Helpful? Upvote 12

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