How to Be a Footballer (Paperback)
  • How to Be a Footballer (Paperback)
  • How to Be a Footballer (Paperback)
  • How to Be a Footballer (Paperback)
  • How to Be a Footballer (Paperback)
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How to Be a Footballer (Paperback) How to Be a Footballer (Paperback) How to Be a Footballer (Paperback)

How to Be a Footballer (Paperback)

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£9.99
Paperback 304 Pages / Published: 30/05/2019
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Waterstones Says

From £250 haircuts to pre-match rituals, a real giant of English football spills the beans on life as a celebrity player in this down-to-earth and very funny memoir.

Shortlisted for The Telegraph Sports Book Awards 2019

You become a footballer because you love football. And then you are a footballer, and you're suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all.

A world where one team-mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane and glasses, without any actual glass in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate.

So walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower-gel, and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror.

We will go into post-match interviews, make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay £250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner.

We'll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp, upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven-Goran Eriksson's assistant Tord Grip. There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisions. I am Peter Crouch. This is How To Be A Footballer. Shall we?

Publisher: Ebury Publishing
ISBN: 9781785039782
Number of pages: 304
Weight: 219 g
Dimensions: 198 x 126 x 19 mm


MEDIA REVIEWS

'However overpaid and preening you might assume Premier League footballers to be, think again. They're worse, according to this amusing insider's account' - The Sunday Times

'Who knew that a footballer could be funny? ... What you realise, as you laugh out loud, is that football has been taken too seriously by too many people for too long... Most other football books wither by comparison' - The Daily Mail

'As someone who's been there, done it and got the ill-fitting T-shirt, Crouch is well placed to shed light on the bizarre world of the modern player in a funny, down-to-earth way... He made his name on the pitch ... but with this book, Crouch proves he is a good sport off it, too.' - Jade Craddock, The Sun

'On his way to being a national treasure... most enjoyable' - The Daily Telegraph

'The funniest man in British sport' - Metro

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“Read and smile”

An honest and light hearted look at modern Football from the inside. Written by a well travelled soul who has had more clubs and managers than most players can boast of.
This book kept a smile on my face.

Hardback edition
Helpful? Upvote 66

“Good read”

Some funny parts and a nice easy read about what footballers get up to in their spare time

Hardback edition
Helpful? Upvote 58

“Very funny!”

I really enjoyed reading this, it’s quite easy to get stuck into when you have some free time. A lighthearted read, but fully enjoyable!

Paperback edition
Helpful? Upvote 9

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