Negotiating collaboratively in your committed relationship is a new way to achieve individual and marital goals, to resolve differences equitably, to manage conflicts, to create and sustain a satisfying sex life, to figure out where you stand on fidelity, to think about having and caring for kids, and to have committed careers and a satisfying family life.
Negotiating collaboratively supports you and your partner seeing yourselves simultaneously as individuals and as a couple-enhances the sense of "being in this together" while also having individual life plans. Negotiating collaboratively supports valuing each other as individuals before seeing each other as husband and wife, and allows modern couples to challenge old gender trappings that can undermine the achievement of balance in a committed relationship.
Straightforward and accessible, A Marriage of Equals offers couples a road map for how to negotiate collaboratively around the most essential aspects of a committed relationship-and, in doing so, create the equitable marriage they long for.
Publisher: She Writes Press
Number of pages: 248
Dimensions: 216 x 140 mm
Included in BookBub's "10 Books That Could Actually Improve Your Life" and Parade's "10 Books That Will Help Declutter Your Entire Life, Marie Kondo-Style
"ThirdPath Institute works with couples who aspire to create A Marriage of Equal. This book will now become the resource I strongly recommend to help them achieve their goals. In a world with very little guidance, and lots of obstacles, Catherine Aponte provides straight-forward advice to help couples stay on track to creating healthy and happy relationships. First describing the beauty and strength of collaborative negotiation, then explaining how conflict often escalates to self-protective strategies that derail creative problem solving, A Marriage of Equals then outlines a number of antidotes to avoid this problem. Thank you, Dr. Aponte for creating such an important resource for couples who are looking for a new and better way to live happily every after."
-Jessica DeGroot, Founder and President, The Third Path Institute (www.thirdpath.org)
"What a pleasure to find such an insightful, helpful, and realistic discussion of what it means to have an equal marriage and what it takes to create one. If you are seeking an egalitarian partnership and a set of concrete strategies to achieve it, this is the book to read."
-Kathleen Gerson, Ph.D., Professor of Sociology and Collegiate Professor of Arts and Science at New York University, and author of An Unfinished Revolution: How a New Generation is Reshaping Family, Work, and Gender in America
"A Marriage of Equals does what no other book available does-speak to today's heterosexual couples who want to have an egalitarian marriage. In clear and respectful language, Catherine Aponte walks men and women through having thoughtful conversations that address gendered expectations and stereotypes that still plague couples no matter how much they want to live differently, and gives them the tools to make that happen."
-Vicki Larson, award-winning journalist and co-author of The New I Do: Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels
"Based on decades of clinical practice and supervision, [Aponte] has written a wise book that is theoretically sound (neo-cognitive and interpersonal), with fresh insights on sex and monogamy. As a practicing psychologist who specializes in couples, I will enthusiastically recommend this accessible, compelling and relevant book to any couple-especially young couples!"
-Scott Salathe, Psy.D., Salathe Behavior Health, Individual and Couples Therapy, Clinical Faculty School of Professional Psychology, Spalding University, Louisville, Ky.
"I loved the Takeaways at the end of each chapter and wish every self-help style book did this. You discuss many different points that can strengthen a marriage. I liked the idea of collaborative negotiation and how positively it can impact all marriages. Couples do need to recognize that to flourish as a couple, they need to flourish as individuals. This book made me realize how critical self-reflection is, the importance of identifying insecurities and working through them, and how we need understand each other's concerns."
-Greg W., Construction Company Project Manager, lives in Louisville, Kentucky.
"Dr. Aponte's 'collaborative negotiation' approach has the potential to really shift dialogues and dynamics in couples just beginning their partnerships, as well as help 'seasoned' couples who are stuck in conflict. The book is a challenge to all of us to not let societally proscribed gender roles dictate our expectations of ourselves and our partners in marriage. In short, this book answers the question about how to create a more equitable, just society related to gender. Her work gives me hope that such societal change is possible. She has certainly impacted how I think about and engage in marriage, and I trust everyone who reads her book will be impacted as well. I would recommend the book to couples considering marriage, those wishing to enhance their marriage, as well as to therapists who work with couples in distress and academicians who are teaching the next generation of therapists how to do couples work."
-Brenda Futrell Nash, Ph.D. Director of Clinical Training, School of Professional Psychology, Spalding University, Louisville, KY.