The Secret Diary of Boris Johnson Aged 131/4 (Paperback)Lucien Young (author)
- We can order this from the publisher
The newly discovered diary of Boris Alexander de Pfeffel Johnson, aged 131/4, provides a fascinating and glimpse into Johnson's innermost thoughts and feelings and will reveal a hitherto hidden side of the man best known to the country as BoJo
Tuesday, 20th September, 1977
During Latin this AM, our teacher Mr Beesley - he of the confetti dandruff and bodily odours - demanded that I give a brief talk on Catullus. Apparently I'd volunteered to do so last week, then forgotten about it entirely. Well, dearest D, I don't mind telling you that the Johnson brain was mightily flummoxed. Without the faintest clue what I was about to say, I rose to my feet. "Um, gosh, yes, Catullus," I began. "What can one say about Catullus? Well, I have always strived to keep my feelings on Catullus a secret. But now I shall have to let the Cat-ullus out of the bag." "Yes, yes, very good, Johnson," said Mr Beesley, "but you're meant to be telling us about his poetry". "Well, um, quite," I shot back. "Knowing, as I do, so much about Catullus - and, indeed, his poetry! - it's tough to know where to begin. Perhaps, then, I should start with the basics: Catullus was a Roman. As such, he had a roman head, roman shoulders and, of course, roman hands. Yes, that poet's hands would roam all over the place. He was the most notorious bottom-pincher in the whole republic!" Yet more laughter! Sometimes I wonder whether I should be a comedian when I grow up, rather than Prime Minister. Then again, why not BOTH?
Ended the day by raiding the tuck shop, to replenish my dwindling supply of Curly Wurlies. Checked my mons pubis for hair again just now. Still nothing . . .
Publisher: Quercus Publishing
Number of pages: 192
Dimensions: 198 x 129 mm
You may also be interested in...
“Humorous fictional memoir "Floreat Eton**" - set in WINDSOR”
Jon Culshaw, who is known for his wonderful impersonations of the rich, famous and ludicrous (famously through Dead Ringers on BBC R4), calls this “memoir” “deliciously funny and highly impudent“. It is, and after all... More
Please sign in to write a review
Would you like to proceed to the App store to download the Waterstones App?
Or, add to basket, pay online, collect in as little as 2 hours, subject to availability.