The Secret Diary of Boris Johnson Aged 131/4 (Paperback)
  • The Secret Diary of Boris Johnson Aged 131/4 (Paperback)
zoom

The Secret Diary of Boris Johnson Aged 131/4 (Paperback)

(author)
1 Review Sign in to write a review
£8.99
Paperback 192 Pages / Published: 29/11/2020
  • We can order this from the publisher

Usually dispatched within 10 working days

  • This item has been added to your basket

100% UNOFFICIAL

The newly discovered diary of Boris Alexander de Pfeffel Johnson, aged 131/4, provides a fascinating and glimpse into Johnson's innermost thoughts and feelings and will reveal a hitherto hidden side of the man best known to the country as BoJo
___

Tuesday, 20th September, 1977

During Latin this AM, our teacher Mr Beesley - he of the confetti dandruff and bodily odours - demanded that I give a brief talk on Catullus. Apparently I'd volunteered to do so last week, then forgotten about it entirely. Well, dearest D, I don't mind telling you that the Johnson brain was mightily flummoxed. Without the faintest clue what I was about to say, I rose to my feet. "Um, gosh, yes, Catullus," I began. "What can one say about Catullus? Well, I have always strived to keep my feelings on Catullus a secret. But now I shall have to let the Cat-ullus out of the bag." "Yes, yes, very good, Johnson," said Mr Beesley, "but you're meant to be telling us about his poetry". "Well, um, quite," I shot back. "Knowing, as I do, so much about Catullus - and, indeed, his poetry! - it's tough to know where to begin. Perhaps, then, I should start with the basics: Catullus was a Roman. As such, he had a roman head, roman shoulders and, of course, roman hands. Yes, that poet's hands would roam all over the place. He was the most notorious bottom-pincher in the whole republic!" Yet more laughter! Sometimes I wonder whether I should be a comedian when I grow up, rather than Prime Minister. Then again, why not BOTH?

Ended the day by raiding the tuck shop, to replenish my dwindling supply of Curly Wurlies. Checked my mons pubis for hair again just now. Still nothing . . .

Publisher: Quercus Publishing
ISBN: 9781529406658
Number of pages: 192
Dimensions: 198 x 129 mm

You may also be interested in...

The Hungover Games
Added to basket
£8.99   £7.49
Paperback
Wreck This Journal
Added to basket
£9.99   £8.99
Paperback
Outraged
Added to basket
£9.99   £8.49
Paperback
Jane is Trying
Added to basket
£16.99   £14.99
Hardback
More Than a Woman
Added to basket
£8.99   £7.49
Paperback
Cards Against Humanity
Added to basket
£27.99
Game
The Constant Rabbit
Added to basket
£8.99   £7.49
Paperback
My Mess Is a Bit of a Life
Added to basket
A Curious History of Sex
Added to basket
£12.99   £11.49
Paperback
Mortimer & Whitehouse: Gone Fishing
Added to basket
We Do Lockdown
Added to basket
£8.99   £6.99
Hardback
Quite
Added to basket
£9.99   £8.49
Paperback
Lucky Cat
Added to basket
£5.99
Mixed media product
Why Mummy's Sloshed
Added to basket
£8.99
Paperback
The Grinny Granny Donkey
Added to basket
£6.99   £5.99
Paperback
Everything I Know About Love
Added to basket
£8.99   £7.49
Paperback
TripFiction

“Humorous fictional memoir "Floreat Eton**" - set in WINDSOR”

Jon Culshaw, who is known for his wonderful impersonations of the rich, famous and ludicrous (famously through Dead Ringers on BBC R4), calls this “memoir” “deliciously funny and highly impudent“. It is, and after all... More

Hardback edition
Helpful? Upvote 23

Please sign in to write a review

Your review has been submitted successfully.