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Author Danny Wallace's Top 5 Gripes About Everyday Rudeness

Posted on 12th June 2018 by Martha Greengrass

As he unravels the truth about rudeness in his new book, F*** You Very Much, Danny Wallace presents five ill-mannered things we must all stop doing IMMEDIATELY.

5. Don’t play your music on the bus! It’s great that you’ve got a phone, and it’s wonderful that you enjoy your music so much, but nobody ordered a DJ and you don’t seem to have been trained. And while you’re at it, buses and trains are not somewhere to FaceTime or Skype your pals. No one wants to see your friend’s nostrils or hear your tinny, tedious chit-chat!

4. Are you on the train? Is it rush hour? Do you think you have been clever by placing a bag on the seat near the window and taking up an aisle seat yourself? Do you think no one is going to be brave enough to ask you to move your bag and move up? You are not an evil-supergenius. You are a rude person, behaving selfishly, and everyone in this carriage knows it.

3. If someone holds a door open for you, there is only one correct response: to say thank you. I don’t care if you’re in a hurry. I don’t care if you don’t think it’s necessary. I don’t care if you’re on the phone. We are not your butlers and you are not Princess Margaret. Say thank you or open the door yourself!

2. It’s great that you’re so opinionated. And I get it: you want to be heard. But if you are “only saying what everyone else is thinking”, ask yourself this: why are they only thinking it? If you’re #justsaying, maybe #justdon’t. Does something mean need to be said, just because it can? Just because it makes you feel better and bigger? In a word, #no.

1. Have you bought F*** You Very Much yet? WHAT? Why not? And yet you think it’s all right to read this blog here, written for free and delivered to you out of the goodness of my heart, and not read an entire book devoted to rudeness I poured my soul into? Well, that is just the height of RUDENESS.

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