This book is for those who seek the high places but who are suffering restrictions in the agility department. It tackles head on (and also sideways), the problem of how to keep up with your mountaineering companions without losing dignity. It is a manual of low cunning for high places. Here too you will learn how to turn a zimmer into a running belay, how to cross a bog in carpet slippers, how to impress your companions with amazing navigational skills while, at the same time, ensuring that younger upstarts become hopelessly lost. You will also discover new and innovative items of equipment which will help you to do the trick (and without distorting your anatomy) of appearing to wear your boots on the wrong feet. Other items of gear will enable you to stop abruptly anyone who is snoring loudly in a mountain hut (without revealing that it was you wot done it). Additional items of equipment will even enable you to take counter-measures in order to avoid being rudely awakened if you should happen to be that snoring person. This is the definitive and indispensable guide to those with heroic aspirations but for whom the passing of the years has sadly diminished the ability to maintain those ambitions.
Tartan Hen Publications
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